Cuihhhh....

4 years I've abandoned my dream and doing my reality.... but suddenly when i chase my dream to be come true... it hit me that i can't do it.. i don't have any qualification for chasing it now... this is really sucks... what do i get for my 4 years of obedience, 4 years of hardwork to my parents to prove them that i love them... what do i get... only dust of my dream that is crushed by the reality... i don't know anymore what i want to do... i don't know.. TTxTT

New addiction ---> Hetalia XD

Ne... nee... Papa... i've turned twenty two...
Ne... Nee... mama... Ne... ne... mama...
Somebody mistook me as a senior high schooler.. TT_TT...

Really...
ever since my 13th birthday... i've never get a really peacefull one... there's always some problem either in my family or in my friends...

Well that's life... you can only pick up your glass and rise it and wish that next year will be some problem that you can handle...

PS : I'M 22 and proud of it.. (2 heads and 2 tails :D)

It's been aproximately 2 months after my behavior became a hedonist (i think i'm a hedonist now)....

but this storm in my heart never ease... never calm... i don't know why .. but maybe because i felt lonely... I was feeling lonely even if i was there with my friend (especially the edi's family + o) It's been ages since i've contact anyone for talking about my personal life... =_=.. no one knows .. and no one cares.. so i better get used to this feeling again...

PS : i still miss my father alot.. TT^TT

so i found my wallet, well it had been found at the giant supermarket... and it got into my hand again after 3 weeks... thank god that it hasn't missing any of the content... but as i got my wallet i started thinking all the stupid thing i have done after my wallet gone...

From arguing and fighting with my mom to the absence feeling of my first card.... it's been long enough that i can forget the feeling of those... but after i got that wallet again.. i feel like i'm the biggest jerk, idiot and even cannot be called a human in the world.. TT^TT... maybe this is a punishment for me...

Oke it has been a month after the accident... and the bruises are coming out again.. i wonder why... My head always feels heavy ... and my body feels heavy too (not because of the weight... well you get the sentence)...

My mother and i are starting to do each of our routine... I will be back to campus 2 weeks from now.. and my mother too will teach again in her campuses...

For the past 2 months, we really have expierenced miracles.....
and now back to the routine... XP

I've just lost someone that very important to me....

This person
always greeted me at morning
always welcomed me when i got home
always woke me to school
always supported me in everything i did
always gave me hope
was mad at me when i was crying
always made me laugh
was always kind to everyone
always cleaned and organized everything in the house
alwyas gave me everything
always cared for my mother, my brother and me
always loved my mother, my brother and me

He is a great husband for my mother... a great father for me and my brother...

He is a great man
He is my father

Thanks Papa... Thank you for everything...

Saat kamu tau jika orang - orang yang biasanya mau cerita jujur ke kamu ada apa... dan kenapa sudah tidak lagi..

Berarti keberadaanmu bagi dia sudah tidak penting lagi ...
Berarti keberadaanmu bagi dia hanya sesaat..
Berarti dia sudah menemukan tempat yang lebih baik daripadamu..
Berarti dia sudah lebih baik bercerita ke orang lain daripadamu..

For me it's only one thing.. i will dissappear from that person.. i will not bother him/her more... Because she/he has found something better for herself/himself... so why do i bother.. it's natural to see people that you care about happy -_-...

It just feel lonely... I just have to get used to it again..

yasu lah yah...

I feel like all my problems and troubles are lifted from my shoulder...

Hanya dengan kata - kata dari Papa yang bilang " papa bangga koq ma Inez... yang penting inez jadi orang.. ga usah segala sesuatunya perfect "
After hearing that... sigh...

Akhirnya ada yang mau nerima segala ketidakbecusan aing.. yang selama ini bikin nsusah orang aja... TT_TT... daku terharu..

Nilai nilai dah keluar.. ga berharap buat dapet IP lebih dari 3 deh.. yang penting lulus aja ^^

mungkin lebih baek bikin prinsip ini kali yah dari kata kata papa buat siapapun nanti ^^
"Kalo kamu milih jadi orang yang perfect silahkan tapi jangan sampe kamu pecah saat keperfect-kan mu itu jadi sesuatu yang akan menyakiti dirimu sendiri... Aku lebih milih untuk menjadi orang yang pas - pasan karena naik turunnya tidak akan mempengaruhi diriku "

udah ah...

GBU ^^

Yey....

Satu tugas neraka dah abiz.. FREEDOMMMMMMMMM....SPARTAN.......AUAUAUAUAU....... XD (Ga nyambung)

Yey.. ABAU tugas dah berakhir tinggal UASnya (lgs pundung)

bingung akan masa depan sendiri.. jadi aku dah mikir mikir mau jadi apa yah aku ini ga ada pengalaman apa apa dibandingin ama yang laen..

satu demi satu dilaksanakan.. lama lama apa ga keteteran yah...
Bingung juga melihat keadaan sekitar.. yang waktunya teruz aja berjalan selama kita tidak melakukan apa apa... :|

Lihat saja deh nanti beberapa tahun mendatang...

Sekarang lagi masa masa labil nih....

Pengen marah juga ke temen temen yang bikin kesel...

Teman A yang bikin kesel :
Hm.. ceritanya aku sekelompok ma tuh orang.. truz dah bikin tugas aku.. musti diubah lagi dengan format yang berbeda.. truz malah jadi kacau deh.. dah bagus aku mau buat ditambahin extra dari diriku sendiri malah dia minta lebih.. Sekarang malah ngilangin tutup pleshdisk aing lagi.. kurang ajar.. mending waktu itu dia urusin sendirian aja napa... Nitip tolong bawain buku yang ditinggal di mobil soalnya aing lari dari gerbang belakang ampe lante 4 buat ngumpulin tugas malah di taro di H*M, apa ada jaminan ga ilang ditaro di sana yah... padahal juga ketemu pas nanti kuliah.. dasar... untungnya sih ga ilang ama sekali


Teman B yang bikin kesel:
Teman satu kelompok juga tapi kelompoknya beda ama yang di atas... dasar aneh kataku.. masa dah tau dia sakit maksain dateng segala mustinya ngomong dulu kek kalo dia sakit gitu.. dateng juga tapi telat banget jadinya nilai modul khan nol... truz dia dateng juga ga ngapa ngapain jadinya.. aku yang pusing khan panik.. untungnya dia rada mau bantu bantu dikit... Dasar aneh.. :|

Teman - teman c yang bikin kesel :
Emang aku punya data kelompok tapi ga cuman aku aja khan.. yang laennya juga punya koq.. wong tiap kali selesai ngerjain laporan pasti pada dikopi semua.. jadi kenapa sekarang aku yang disuruh bawa sih.. tau ga sih bawa laptop aing tuh berat... truz nanti kalo dimasukin flesh disk flesh disk aneh yang belom di scan awas aja.. ga akan gua turutin lagi bawa si BION lagi...semuanya egois semuanya mau tau enak aja ga mikirin yang laen gimana... yang penting mereka enak dan yang laen menderita... gah sabodo..


Tapi sekarang gitu dah lagi masa labil labilnya, jarang cerita sih ke orang jadinya nulis ke elje yang ga jelas ini.. hmm....

pengen cepet bubaran ama orang - orang di atas...

To Kakang yang telah menemukan journal ini...


Hehe... beberapa dah di friend lock :3 cuman percuma aja... mustinya dari dulu dah di friend lock duluan


Hua... Hazukashi yo.... ->.<-


Lupakan apa yang kakang baca di sini kecuali yang ga di friend lock.. okay?

GBU arigato

Jadi apa bedanya libur ama holiday?
Kalo bahasanya emang beda kalo libur khan make bahasa indo kalo holiday make bahasa inggris..
Huruf depannya aja beda.. libur mah l kalo holiday mah h

Sebenernya buat aku maknanya kale yang beda..
Buat di indo libur itu msh dikasih tugas dari mana - mana... kalo holiday bener- bener santai dan rileks...

jadi aku dikasih libur ama kampus buat 2 minggu dengan catatan 2 hari idul fitri sisanya mengejar tugas dan laporan yang ada..

idup idup kapan sih enaknya...

O iya kakang dah balik ke bandung.. senangnya bisa bermaen bersama lagi... sedihnya karena dia nganggep aku kaya orang laen lage X(

Well not exactly... belom diprint seh..

Jadi merasakan bekerja dengan kelompok baru... Cuman ga bisa ngeklop aja ma yang namanya E.. susah deh... Rasanya bawaannya pengen marah kalo ngomong ama tuh anak.. Banyak bacot/basinya deh..

Jadi tugas 1 baru selesai... nah tinggal kira - kira 13 minggu lagi menyelesaikan derita ini.. hiks hiks...

O iya... pengen banget juga kalo kelompok PTIku berubah... Bukan apa - apa cuman masih ngerasa akunya kurang masuk di kalangan mereka. Dan aku yang paling ga bisa apa - apa (>.<)

Second post of the day.. sambil nunggu downloadnya selesai.. mari kita meracau tentang yaoi yuri en hentai....

Jadi gini(lagi...) di Ukj khan sering bicaranya tentang Yaoi buat anak cewenya(salah satu pencetusnya terkadang aku) dan tentang Hentai buat cowonya(terkadang ikutan ngomong juga sih)

Mau meracau mengenai Yaoi Yuri dan Hentai :
1. Jadi katanya kalo hentai itu normal kalo yaoi n yuri itu engga... sebenernya bisa dibilang yaoi ama yuri tuh normal lage... pada awalnya... khan waktu awal - awal biasanya mereka jadi temen dulu (cowo ama cowo pelukan ama cium pipi normal lage.. khan menujukkan kasih sayang sesama sahabat / teman )... setelahnya baru engga soalnya sudah menjurus ke arah ~*pip*~ atau dengan kata laen hal - hal yang diinginkan...("now i see everything" pertama kale ngeliat yaoi)

2. Kalo yuri paling beda sendiri... soalnya ga ada acara tusuk menusuk.. karena ga punya tusukan... kalo hentai ama yaoi biasanya ada acara tusuk menusuk.. biarpun kadang - kadang yaoinya tidak ada acara tusuk menusuk adanya acara pekerjaan tangan atau pekerjaan tiup aja (inggriskan)...

3. yaoi itu paling digemari cewe napa yah... so pasti gara - gara cowonya la... truz nilai plusnya bisa ngeliat ~*pip*~ face cowo (terutama uke ... terkadang jadi sexy mukanya XD... buat semenya juga sama... cuman buat seme keluar sex facenya pas iku doank... :()

4. Kalo hentai pasti ada yang nantinya hamil kecuali kalo salah satu diantaranya mandul tapi kalo yaoi ama yuri khan ga ada yang hamil jadi ga usah tanggung jawab kayanya gapapa yah?(ga boleh itu... kalo yaoi tanggung jawab dah ngerusakin pantat orang kalo yuri tanggung jawab dah ngerusakin slaput orang...;P)

5. Katanya sih bisa ACDC jadi bisa gantian mengerjakannya.. tapi aku tetap memilih baca yang seme tetap dan uke tetap... kalo ACDC biasanya kurang cocok sih menurutku... (terkadang size of the body and personality matters to decide who is going to do it and who is going to be done )

6. Setelah membaca beberapa yaoi .... siapa bilang kalo katanya bakalan sakit... kayanya ukenya enjoy aja yah... ada yang sampe merelakan ukenya yang begerak bukan semenya... hmm... malahan terkadang ukenya mengkhawatirkan semenya apa mereka enjoy menusuk uke....? Kya...

7. buat Yuri... tralalala... hanya dapat bergesek atau menggunakan tangan atau organ tubuh laennya saja kayanya.. makanya kurang seru... yah.. (kalo buat aku)

8. Katanya cowo tertarik ama cewe gara - gara tubuhnya (ada yang kaya gitu KATANYA...) cuman pikiran aku gini toh.. cewe punya opai khan... opai itu khan sebenernya dada yang membengkak jadi kalo misalnya dada cowo dibengkakin... cowo laen bakalan tertarik ga yah ?...khan jadinya mirip opai...malahan ada yang bilang kalo katanya dada cowo lebih sensitive daripada dada cewe (terutama bagian nipplenya)... geh..
Makanya khan... daripada cowo maenin dada cewe yang tebel mendingan maenin dada cowo yang sensitive.... bisa langsung bikin cowonya terangsang khan...

9. kalo soal bulu(terutama buat yang yaoi... katanya kalo cowo suka bulunya pada banyak..)... itu masalah gampang sudah ditemukan khan teknik waxing... jadi bulu sudah bukan halangan... (cuman akan menderita sekali saat diwaxingnya... ouch)

10. Hentai, yaoi ama yuri tuh kayanya sama smua deh.. khan intinya tidur bareng - bareng(slept together) cuman bedanya kalo hentai mah cowo ama cewe tidur bareng (jadi terjadi hal - hal yang diinginkan..hm..)... kalo yuri cewe ama cewe kayanya kalo cewe - cewe pelukan ambil tidur juga gapapa deh diliatnya.. ga aneh - aneh banget sih...(cuman aku ga mau ngelakuin.... (--))... kalo yaoi juga cowo ama cowo khan tidur bareng... khan pasti tiap cowo kalo nginep di kosan atau di rumah temennya yang cowo pasti ngelakuin lah... cuman ada keadaan khususnya...
Keadaan khusus itu biasanya pada ga pake baju, celana maupun celana dalem dan biasanya 1 ranjang(tapi beberapa orang juga kalo nginep satu ranjang juga da)... (jadi terkadang ukenya kalo udah selesai biasanya langsung make baju lagi biar mencegah semenya melakukan hal - hal yang diinginkan lagi.... )

Yah segitu dulu deh ngeracaunya...
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO


Mau tidur dulu deh..

nanti kalo kepikiran lagi mari ngeracau... XD

PS: yang ga ngerti pekerjaan tangan... kalo diingriskan jadi "Hand Job"
yang ga ngerti pekerjaan tiup ... kalo diinggriskan jadi "Blow job"

Okay... It's has been so long that i haven't updated this journal.
It's has been a fenomenal 2 months for me...
Damn....

So many things happen...
first : i cry because my knife is gone now...
second : in past 2 months i had to make onigiri for one of source income of the event
thrid : in D-day i really stressed out because of onigiri (again?!)
forth : It felt good when i saw the last part of the even which was hanabi (fireworks).
fifth : The trouble that my friend had between his kouhai.
sixth : the trouble that i have between me and myself.
seventh: money problem

well those are some fenomenal events that have happenned in last few months.
See ya...

Ah...
I got 2 weeks of holiday. Really happy because most of the time i spent for sleeping. Really happy for me.
But i felt lonely at home. I have noone to talk to. I have noone to share what i know. I have noone to fight with.
I really miss my brother. Hiks hiks

But i have to be strong. Because i will have to face to face with this kind of condition again.

I want to go out and play with my friends. But noone has ever contacted me except my " Kadiv "

Today is kind of good day.
I chatted with my friends about everything. And i got to hear their experiences, kakoi.... ( so cool ).
Even though there was a meeting about takeshi castle in "sekre", i didn't join. The meeting was too tense for me, i couldn't take the heat emotion of everyone in the meeting. Maybe i'm a coward, but i think it's best for me to stay out from it. Because i can't take any more stress right now.
The bad part of this day was i couldn't join kendo's excercise ( latian kendo kaga tau bahasa inggrisnya dasar aku payah ). Damn ..... because of my left foot is hurted.

O yeah, i forgot i have a photo that is so funny (for me) that contains the leader of my unit and with my friends in costume ( cosplay ). But i haven't edited it so have to wait.

Bad News :
Lately i've been feeling uneasy. Maybe because one of my family member is going to go far away. A little bit sad but happy for him too. I'm kind of hate and like my brother. Never understand what i feel. This is really stressfull for me. Also my assignment hasn't finished yet. AAAAA.....

Good News :
I got what i wanted.. a lot of mangascan and mp3s. I'm really lucky that i have a place where i can go in my campus ( Sweet sekre ).

Yay at last i decided to make this LJ.....

But i think i'm not going to updated it much...
Because i'm really that lazy.... Never like to write about myself or others. This journal only for my excercise in english.... Lebih enak make bahasa Indonesia seh ... Hehehehe... Geus geus...